When everyone's gone home
Shortybear is coming up on a milestone - December 21 will be 8 months since her mother went to be with her Lord. This will be her first Christmas without her mom. At her blog today she reminds us that those who have lost a loved one continue to need compassion long after the loved one is gone.
Interestingly, I have been thinking a lot about this very thing myself the last couple of days. Some of you may remember that this past summer friends of mine lost their 18 month son in a tragic accident. Evan Remy Howell would have celebrated his second birthday on December 18th this year. I have been thinking a lot about his parents, Morley and Heather, and how agonizingly painful it must be for them as they approach not only this date, but Christmas without him as well. I have been thinking about how I may express my own sorrow to them, but I want to do it in a way that might be a comfort to them.
Here is a letter that my former pastor Reverend Kevin Walrath sends to a newly grieving person or family. It is his original writing. He has given permission for others to share it and no acknowledgement is necessary should you wish to use it.
When everyone's gone home.
They were all there.
There were words of comfort.
People were there for you.
But then comes what for many is the worst time.
The funeral is over.
The supporters have gone home.
Everyone is back to work.
Your life too resumes the routine - outwardly.
So why do you feel so bad?
Why do things seem like they are out of place?
The world has changed - that's why.
It will never be the same again.
It seems silly - You didn't live every minute with that person anyway.
And perhaps there's some guilt that opportunities have slipped away.
There's nothing to be done about that now.
But while life has changed,
And people may not fully appreciate the pain,
And wonder why you just don't "get on with your life" right away,
God knows you and He knows that it still hurts.
"As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; for He knows how we are formed, He remembers that we are dust." (Psalm 103:13-14 NIV)
He will not abandon you.
God's Word continues to remind us,
"The LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you." (Deut. 31:6 NIV)
And the Jesus who wept at His friend's grave,
And suffered the pain of His own death for our sake,
But who alone blazed the trail to eternal life by His resurrection,
Wants to you to know His love and His presence with you now.
With thoughts and prayers to you and your family.
Sincerely Yours, Pastor Kevin Walrath
10 comments:
I remember when you wrote about the little boy - he was about the same age as Jack. I remember how sad you were that his parents, as unbelievers, did not have the hope of the resurrection. I could barely read it aloud to my husband because of my tears. As Jack nears his second birthday, I will remember your friends in my prayers. and of course shortybear.
I like what your former Pastor has written.
Thank you for this post. It has really touched my heart. Hugs, Eileen
Thanks so much Sara, your prayers are appreciated.
Hi Mrs. E - how are you doing? I can't figure out how to comment on your blog. I wish I knew how. I hope you're hanging in there - you sounded like you're going through a trying time right now. That happens. Hang tight to the Saviour and I'll keep on praying for you.
Oh...I am hanging in there! Actually, the 'non-xanga' inability to comment is really bothering me. I have 3 friends who've 'signed' into xanga and created an account just to say 'hi'. I find that nice, but it really bothers me that that's the only option. So....I'm praying about whether to come over to beta blogger (which I am not thrilled with, but there are more options with layout links, if not design). Now that I'm at xanga a month Friday, I hate to just 'jump' again. But....like I said...the options don't look too good for non-xanga folks looking to comment :(. Have a nice day! I believe my situation is secure, and thanks for the prayers. Hugs! Eileen (don't call me Mrs. E!LOL...that's to simplify when you get to the xanga page).
Thanks my dear friend for sharing this beautiful letter, it really touched my heart. I love you.
I remember the little boy also......tears, also. It's easy to discern that the letter is written with a "pastor's heart."
Everybody needs to come over to wordpress. Lots of free options, easy to comment and I'm lonely.
I'm coming. I promise. I have been gathering my thoughts re: the Hebrews passage that troubles you. Soon...
You are such a blessing Anita! Thank you for this post, for being my blog friend and for your encouraging comment today. I was about to delete the post when I saw your comment. Being bold is SO not me and is very scary for me. I really appreciate your words so much!
Hugs,
Lisa
Sorry off topic...Anita: ck my site when you get a sec - the post entitled "Mercy Drops Honors". Had something to tell ya' but don't have email for ya! (((hugs)))
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