Anita who?

So, anybody remember me?

All is well. As sometimes happens, I got swamped with busyness - mostly chauffeuring around my offspring to their various activities. Good thing I don't have much of a social life - theirs keeps me busy enough as it is!

Did you know that my anniversary is coming up at the end of this month? We will be married for 19 years. Can you even imagine? It doesn't seem nearly that long. You know, I love being married and I love being married to my husband Ken. I love, love, love him so much! The man ADORES me and he treats me like a queen. I try to reciprocate.



UPDATED!! Look what Marilee made for me - I love it! Thank you Marilee.


It took us many years to figure out how to "be married" and not just be two individuals living in the same home - you know what I mean? But we really have learned how to make it work - each lives for the other. Oh, not perfectly of course. There's times when each of us fails to put the other first, when we are thoughtless (albeit unintentionally) of the other. But I can honestly say that I cannot remember the last time that my husband has done anything that would be considered selfish towards me, and I hope that he can say the same thing for me. Being married is the one thing that I feel like I actually know what I'm doing; that I could confidently give somebody advice on.

I certainly can't take credit for any of it though. I can't adequately express my thanks for the Holy Spirit's work on our hearts. I gotta be honest with you, I got married pretty young (I was 22) and I really did not understand the importance of marrying a Christian. If Ken had not been a Christian I'm pretty sure I still would have married him. I just didn't really think about the implications. But thanks be to God, the Holy Spirit was working in both our lives and we found each other, as I believe God intended us to.

In our early years of marriage, as we were figuring it all out, we both lived and acted selfishly towards one another. I especially acted grievously towards my husband, usurping his role as head of the household. I steamrolled right over him, made him subordinate to me. I always got my way - no matter the cost to my husband. But again, the Holy Spirit gently worked on our hearts - mine to relinquish my false "authority" and my husband to take his rightful place. I think it was harder for my husband. He must have been so confused! First I wanted to be the one "in charge" and then suddenly I'm thrusting it back at him, insisting that he take on that role. Poor guy. I remember being in the kitchen one afternoon, doing dishes and thinking about how quickly our kids were growing - Kirk would have been around 6 or 7 at the time. And I got to thinking about how one day they would be gone - and I would be alone with my husband. This scripture from Genesis came to mind: "For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh." I wondered if, when the time came for my own children to cleave to their spouses, whether I would have anything left in common with my husband. We had our kids right away after we were married and childrearing had become the main thing that we had in common. What would happen when that was gone? I just remember standing there, deciding in my heart that from that day forward I would make more of an effort to nurture my relationship with my husband. Over the years God has blessed those efforts and opened up His Word for us so that the three of us - me, Ken and Christ - have become truly united.

To me, being happily married is the best thing in this life, and it's something I wish that everyone could experience. When I see the movie star divorces in the papers it makes me so sad. They don't understand what they are throwing away. They don't understand what they could have and how wonderful living for the other can be. The world says "look out for number one", but God says "the first shall be last and the last shall be first". Putting the other one first, allowing oneself to be last works. At least it works for us.