Matthew 11:28

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

This scripture has come to mind to me today over and over again for some reason. I'm not feeling particularly burdened by anything. I'm in a good place, a close place with Him lately. He has been drawing me closer through prayer and through the Word and Sacrament. I thought I was laying down my burdens before Him. Apparently I am holding back something though. That's not all that surprising. It's what I do after all. I just thought I was actually getting somewhere.

I've got this idea - a wrong idea, a bad idea - that I'm actually getting somewhere in this fight with sin. That I'm systematically eradicating sin from my life, crossing them off the list as it were. Look at me! Aren't I a good Christian?

Nothing could be further from the truth. Yes, I am learning obedience in some things. Yes, I am learning to lean more fully on Him. Slowly, painfully, He is transforming me. And yet for every area of my life where I see His transforming hand, I see another corner where darkness and ugliness lies in wait. As a decendant of Adam, sin is my nature. I cannot escape it, no matter how I want to.

I've gotten "growing in grace" mixed up with "growing in morality". Growing in morality, seeking to excise sinful habits from my life, is a human endeavor. You don't have to be a Christian to be a moral person. Millions of atheist Chinese live by high moral standards. You don't have to trust in the grace and mercy of Christ to live morally.

God has seen to my justification through His Son. Through His Holy Spirit, He is seeing to my sanctification also. It's not my doing. If I struggle against it and deliberately sin, that's my doing. But the good stuff? No, I can take no credit for that. If I'm growing in grace, then I must let it be God's grace.

Don't misunderstand me: I want to live according to His good and gracious will. I want to because I love Him and I want to live in ever closer communion with Him. And it is good to want to do so. But it's not my work that is accomplished in me- it's His. Oh Lord, let me learn from You to be gentle and humble in heart!